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This section contains five pages of content:
- Stanford Application Essay
- Wellesley Application Essay
- Harvard Application Essay
- Georgetown Application Essay
- Princeton Application Essay
Stanford
Application
When I look at this picture of myself, I realize how much I '
ve grown and changed, not only physically, but also mentally as
a person in the last couple of years. Less than one month after
this photograph was taken, I arrived at the [school's name]
in [school's location] without any idea of what to expect. I
entered my second year of high school as an innocent thirteen year-old
who was about a thousand miles from home and was a new member of
not the sophomore, but lower-middle class. Around me in this
picture are the things which were most important in my life at the
time: studying different types of cars and planes, following Michael
Jordan's latest move, and seeing the latest blockbuster show
like Phantom of the Opera or Jurassic Park. On my t-shirt
is the rest of my life in tennis. Midway through my senior year at
the special [school's name] school, the focuses in my life have
changed dramatically.
If there is one common occurrence which takes place for every single
person in the diverse student body at [school's name], it is that
we all grow up much faster for having lived there. I do not know
whether this speeding up of the maturing process is generally good
or bad, but I definitely have benefited.
The classroom has become a whole different realm for me. Before,
the teachers and students alike preached the importance of learning,
but it was implicitly obvious that the most important concern was
grades. At [school's name] teachers genuinely believe that learning
is the most importance objective and deeply encourage us to collaborate
with each other and make use of all resources that we may find.
In fact, in a certain class this year, my teacher assigned us to
prepare every day of the week to discuss a certain book; there were
only two require-ments in this preparation; we had to maximize
our sources, gleaning from everything and everyone in the school,
but we were not allowed to actually look at the book. As a result,
I know more about that book than any other that I have actually
read. It is teaching methods such as this which ensure that we will
learn more. Indeed, this matter of thinking has been one of
the most important aspects of my experience. Whether in Physics
or English, I'm required to approach every problem and idea independently
and creatively rather than just regurgitate the teacher's words.
In discussion with fellow students both inside and outside of class,
the complex thoughts flowing through everyone's brain is evident.
However, I believe that the most important concepts that I have
espoused in being independent of my parents for half of each year,
deal with being a cosmopolitan person. The school's faculty and
students are conscious about keeping all of the kids' attention
from being based on the school. Every single issue of global concern
is brought forth by one group or another whether it be a faculty
member, publication, ethnic society, or individual student. Along
with being aware of issues of importance, after attending [school'
s name] my personality has evolved. First, my mannerisms have
grown: the school stresses giving respect to everyone and everything.
Our former headmaster often said, "Character can be measured not
by one's interaction with people who are better off than him or
herself, but by one's interactions with those who are worse off
". The other prime goal of the school's community is to convert
every single timid lower-classman into a loud, rambunctious senior.
Basically, if you have an opinion about something, it is wrong not
to voice that opinion. Of course, being obnoxious is not the idea.
The key is to become a master of communication with teachers, fellow
students, all of who are a part of the community, and most importantly,
those who are outside of the community.
I do not want to make [school's name] sound as if it produces
the perfect students, because it doesn't. But the school deserves
a lot of credit for its efforts. Often, some part of the mold does
remain. As the college experience approaches, I am still the same
person, only modified to better maximize my talents. Although I
still have some time to play tennis and see movies, perhaps one
of the few similarities between this photograph and me now is my
smile.
** ADMISSIONS COMMITTEE COMMENTS **
This essay is fairly well written. The essayist makes boarding
school his focus, using it to explain and describe how and why he
has changed over the years. A lot of students write about what wonderful
people they have become, but they fail to do a good job of understanding
and explaining the forces that prevailed to make them change. This
writer focuses on the strengths of the school itself. He demonstrates
the sort of values it tries to instill in its students such as,
- Encouraging us to collaborate with each other and make use of
all resources that we may find, and - Giving respect to everyone
and everything. Because the writer does so, the reader never doubts
that the applicant possesses all the qualities that he credits to
the school. Using this method has two advantages. First, the positive,
upbeat attitude he has toward his institution is rare. Second, Stanford,
for one, recognized that this would reflect well on his ability
to adapt to and be a positive force at their school.
Wellesley
Application Essay
It took me eighteen years to realize what an extraordinaryinfluence
my mother has been on my life. She's the kind of person who has
thoughtful discussions about which artist she would most want to
have her portrait painted by (Sargent), the kind of mother who always
has time for her four children, and the kind of community leader
who has a seat on the board of every major project to assist Washington
's impoverished citizens. Growing up with such a strong role model,
I developed many of her enthusiasms. I not only came to love the
excitement of learning simply for the sake of knowing something
new, but I also came to understand the idea of giving back to the
community in exchange for a new sense of life, love, and spirit.
My mother's enthusiasm for learning is most apparent in travel.
I was nine years old when my family visited Greece. Every night
for three weeks before the trip, my older brother Peter and I sat
with my mother on her bed reading Greek myths and taking notes on
the Greek Gods. Despite the fact that we were traveling with fourteen-month-old
twins, we managed to be at each ruin when the site opened at sunrise.
I vividly remember standing in an empty ampitheatre pretending to
be an ancient tragedian, picking out my favorite sculpture in the
Acropolis museum, and inserting our family into modified tales of
the battle at Troy. Eight years and half a dozen passport stamps
later I have come to value what I have learned on these journeys
about global history, politics and culture, as well as my family
and myself.
While I treasure the various worlds my mother has opened to me
abroad, my life has been equally transformed by what she has shown
me just two miles from my house. As a ten year old, I often accompanied
my mother to (name deleted), a local soup kitchen and children's center. While she attended meetings, I helped with the Summer
Program by chasing children around the building and performing magic
tricks. Having finally perfected the "floating paintbrush" trick,
I began work as a full time volunteer with the five and six year
old children last June. It is here that I met Jane Doe, an exceptionally
strong girl with a vigor that is contagious. At the end of the summer,
I decided to continue my work at (name deleted) as Jane's tutor.
Although the position is often difficult, the personal rewards are
beyond articulation. In the seven years since I first walked through
the doors of (name deleted), I have learned not only the idea of
giving to others, but also of deriving from them a sense of spirit.
Everything that my mother has ever done has been overshadowed by
the thought behind it. While the raw experiences I have had at home
and abroad have been spectacular, I have learned to truly value
them by watching my mother. She has enriched my life with her passion
for learning, and changed it with her devotion to humanity. In her
endless love of everything and everyone she is touched by, I have
seen a hope and life that is truly exceptional. Next year, I will
find a new home miles away. However, my mother will always be by
my side.
** ADMISSIONS COMMITTEE COMMENTS **
The topic of this essay is the writer's mother. However, the
writer definitely focuses on herself, which makes this essay so
strong. She manages to impress the reader with her travel experience,
volunteer and community experience, and commitment to learning without
ever sounding boastful or full of herself. The essay is also very
well organized.
Harvard
Application
Of all the characters that I've met through books and movies,
two stand out as people that I most want to emulate. They are Attacus
Finch from To Kill A Mockingbird and Dr. Archibald Moonlight
Graham from Field of Dreams. They appeal to me because they embody
what I strive to be. They are influential people in small towns
who have a direct positive effect on those around them. I, too,
plan to live in a small town after graduating from college, and
that positive effect is something I must give in order to be satisfied
with my life.
Both Mr. Finch and Dr. Graham are strong supporting characters
in wonderful stories. They symbolize good, honesty, and wisdom.
When the story of my town is written I want to symbolize those things.
The base has been formed for me to live a productive, helpful life.
As an Eagle Scout I represent those things that Mr. Finch and Dr.
Graham represent. In the child/adolescent world I am Mr. Finch and
Dr. Graham, but soon I'll be entering the adult world, a world
in which I'm not yet prepared to lead.
I'm quite sure that as teenagers Attacus Finch and Moonlight
Graham often wondered what they could do to help others. They probably
emulated someone who they had seen live a successful life. They
saw someone like my grandfather, 40-year president of our hometown
bank, enjoy a lifetime of leading, sharing, and giving. I have seen
him spend his Christmas Eves taking gifts of food and joy to indigent
families. Often when his bank could not justify a loan to someone
in need, my grandfather made the loan from his own pocket. He is
a real-life Moonlight Graham, a man who has shown me that characters
like Dr. Graham and Mr. Finch do much much more than elicit tears
and smiles from readers and movie watchers. Through him and others
in my family I feel I have acquired the values and the burning desire
to benefit others that will form the foundation for a great life.
I also feel that that foundation is not enough. I do not yet have
the sophistication, knowledge, and wisdom necessary to succeed as
I want to in the adult world. I feel that Harvard, above all others,
can guide me toward the life of greatness that will make me the
Attacus Finch of my town.
** ADMISSIONS COMMITTEE COMMENTS **
This essay is a great example of how to answer this question well.
This applicant chose characters who demonstrated specific traits
that reflect on his own personality. We believe that he is sincere
about his choices because his reasons are personal (being from a
small town, and so forth). He managed to tell us a good deal about
himself, his values, and his goals while maintaining a strong focus
throughout.
Georgetown
Application
For many years, I have been interested in studying international
relations. My interest in pursuing this field stems from several
factors which have affected me. First, I have been exposed to international
affairs throughout my life. With my father and two of my brothers
in the Saudi Foreign Service, I have grown up under the shadow of
inter-national affairs. Second, I am fascinated by history, economics,
and diplomacy. I believe, through the study of international relations,
I can effectively satisfy my curiosity in these fields. A third
factor whichhas affected my interest in international relations
is patriotism.
Through the Foreign Service, I would not only have the opportunity
to serve my country, but also have the chance to help bridge gaps
between my country and others. Finally, as a Saudi living abroad,
I have been bridging cultures throughout my life. This experience
has taught me to look for differences to compromise and similarities
to synthesize in order to balance different cultures. In short,
I believe that my experiences in life, combined with a rigorous
academic education, will enable me to pursue a successful career
in the Saudi Foreign Service.
Georgetown, Favorite Class
At St. Albans, especially in our later years, we are given the
freedom to choose from a vast array of classes. Using this freedom,
I have selected classes which have personal significance to me,
regardless of difficulty or appearance on my transcript. However,
from these classes, one holds an extraordinary amount of value to
me. This course is A.P. Omnibus History, a combination of American
and European history. There are several reasons for my great interest
in this class. First, I am fascinated by the cyclical nature of
the past. I see these recurring political, economic, and social
trends as a means of looking forward into the future, while allowing
us to avoid the mistakes of the past. Second, history teaches many
lessons about the nature of human behavior, both past and present,
providing insight into the actions, desires, and aspirations of
those around me. Finally, it lays a solid foundation for several
disciplines, including political science, economics, and international
relations, three fields of great interest to me.
Georgetown, Visual Arts
Another major interest of mine, which I have not had the opportunity
to express elsewhere on my application, is the visual arts. Throughout
high school, I have used a variety of media to express myself. I
began with black and white photography, focusing on the presence
of lines and balance in nature. For my work in this medium, I received
an award at the St. Albans School Art Show. From photography, I
moved on to glass etching. Using a sandblaster to etch the glass,
I again concen-trated on lines and balance in my works. Moreover,
by arranging several glass panes into a sculpture, I moved my study
into three dimensions, winning another Art Show award. Currently,
I am working on canvas, using oil and acrylic in a Mondrian style,
which is based on lines and balance. Eventually, I hope to explore
the effects of combining these and other media, creating my own
style of artistic expression.
Georgetown, Wrestling
In the past four years of my life, no activity has affected me
more than wrestling. Four years of varsity wrestling and the honor
of being a team captain has instilled many qualities in me. First,
through years of hard work and continuous dieting, wrestling has
given me discipline. This discipline has spread to other parts of
my personality, including my moral character, work ethic, and preserverence.
Another quality wrestling has given me is leadership. As a team
captain, I have learned to lead by example, both on and off the
mat. Above all, though, wrestling has given me a love of life. Through
this sport, I have experienced pain, sacrifice, adversity, and success.
Exposure to these feelings - which are, in my opinion, the essence
of being - has allowed me to truly appreciate life. I hope to continue
wrestling at Georgetown.
** ADMISSIONS COMMITTEE COMMENTS **
What immediately strikes the reader about this set - before even
reading it - is the balance between the essays. Each answer contains
only one paragraph, each of approximately equal length. The solid
structure of each essay and the focus of each reflects this outward
balance. Each one focuses on a completely different area of its
writer's life, another striking detail. The first focuses on his
career goals, the second on his interest in history, the third on
his interest in the visual arts, and the fourth on wrestling. This
is a perfect example of the jigsaw puzzle approach. When put together,
you have a well-rounded individual with passion, depth, and involvement
in many different areas.
Princeton
Application
A creek is no place for shoes. I think it's unreasonable to ask
children to keep their shoes on in such a place. My bare feet were
always covered with calluses from walking down the rough pavement
of Peardale Street and around the corner, past the weeping willows,
but not as far as the Lindsay's squeaky old swing-set. It was
hard to see from the road, and as far as I could tell, nobody ever
went there - except for me. Large pines nearby stood tall and erect,
looking down at the ripples and currents that nudged each other
about playfully, like children in the back seat of a car on a long
drive. Stones and pebbles lined the shallow bottom and allowed the
water to glide in creative patterns over their smooth surfaces.
Larger, moss covered rocks dotted the bank and provided ideal spots
for a child to sit and watch and wonder.
The creek often taught me things; it was my mentor. Once I discovered
tadpoles in several of the many eddies and stagnant pools that lined
the small rivulet. A cupped hand and a cleaned-out mayonnaise jar
aided me in clumsily scooping up some of the more slothful individuals.
With muddy hands and knees, I set them on the kitchen counter, and
watched them daily as they developed into tiny frogs. I was fascinated
by what was taking place before my eyes, but new questions constantly
puzzled me. Dad was usually responsible for assuaging these curiosities.
He told me about different kinds of metamorphosis and how other
little tiny creatures lived in the water that I couldn' t see without
a fancy magnifying glass.
By the creek, my mind was free to wander. I remember sitting silently
on a mossy rock and watching the birds; I used to pretend I was
one. As my body lay still, my imagination would take flight. High
above, looking down on this stream from the pale blue heavens, the
wind whistled over my face and the sun warmed my body. When my eyes
flickered open, it was usually time to go home. Sometimes I even
did.
I was always up for a challenge. My sister and I used to jump from
rock to rock, in a kind of improvised hop-scotch obstacle course
that tested our balance and agility against one another. She was
four years older and I had to practice every morning when she was
at school in order to keep up. On the rare occasions that I outdid
her, I wore a goofy smirk for the rest of the day.
The creek was a frontier. The stream extendedfar into the depths
of the woods. I thought that if I wandered too far into its darkness,
I might be consumed by it and never heard from again. Gradually
overcoming my fear, I embarked on expeditionsand drafted extensive
maps using my father's old compass, a sheet of paper, and a few
colored pencils. As my body grew in height and weight, my boundaries
grew in extent and breadth.
Years later, I happened to be walking to a friend's house by
way of the creek. It occurred to me that what was once an expedition
was now merely a shortcut. Although I had left this stream behind,
I found others: new questions and freedoms, new challenges and places
to explore. But this creek would remain foremost in my memory, whatever
stream, river, or ocean I might wade.
Princeton, Athlete (football)
I have learned a great many things from participating in varsity
football. It has changed my entire outlook on and attitude toward
life. Before my freshman year at [high-school], I was shy, had low
self-esteem and turned away from seemingly impossible challenges.
Football has altered all of these qualities. On the first day of
freshman practice, the team warmed up with a game of touch football.
The players were split up and the game began. However, during the
game, I noticed that I didn't run as hard as I could, nor did
I try to evade my defender and get open. The fact of the matter
is that I really did not want to be thrown the ball. I didn' t
want to be the one at fault if I dropped the ball and the play didn't succeed. I did not want the responsibility of helping the team
because I was too afraid of making a mistake. That aspect of my
character led the first years of my high school life. I refrained
from asking questions in class, afraid they might be considered
too stupid or dumb by my classmates. All the while, I went to practice
and everyday, I went home physically and mentally exhausted.
Yet my apprehension prevailed as I continued to fear getting put
in the game in case another player was injured. I was still afraid
of making mistakes and getting blamed by screaming coaches and angry
teammates. Sometimes these fears came true. During my sophomore
season, my position at backup guard led me to play in the varsity
games on many occasions. On such occasions, I often made mistakes.
Most of the time the mistakes were not significant; they rarely
changed the outcome of a play. Yet I received a thorough verbal
lashing at practice for the mistakes I had made. These occurrences
only compounded my fears of playing. However, I did not always make
mistakes. Sometimes I made great plays, for which I was congratulated.
Now, as I dawn on my senior year of football and am faced with two
starting positions, I feel like a changed person.
Over the years, playing football has taught me what it takes to
succeed. From months of tough practices, I have gained a hard work
ethic. From my coaches and fellow teammates, I have learned to work
well with others in a group, as it is necessary to cooperate with
teammates on the playing field. But most important, I have also
gained self-confidence. If I fail, it doesn't matter if they mock
or ridicule me; I'll just try again and do it better. I realize
that it is necessary to risk failure in order to gain success. The
coaches have always said before games that nothing is impossible;
I know that now. Now, I welcome the challenge. Whether I succeed
or fail is irrelevant; it is only important that I have tried and
tested myself.
** ADMISSIONS COMMITTEE COMMENTS **
The topic of this essay is how the applicant has matured and changed
since his freshman year. He focuses on football. One of the strengths
of this essay is that it is wellorganized. The applicant clearly
put time into the structure and planning of this essay. He uses
the platform of football to discuss and demonstrate his personal
growth and development through the high school years. What he could
have done better was spend more time describing himself after he
made improvements. As it is, he only tells us about his newfound
confidence and drive. This essay would have been stronger had he
actually shown us, perhaps by including a story or describing an
event where his confidence made a difference.
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